yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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