How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
