grandma shit on top of the toilet
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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