her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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