Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
