Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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