1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
