hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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