were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
