There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I need a beard to bite.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
