I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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