Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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