i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
