please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
