All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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