you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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