doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I supernannyed him into submission
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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