if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
