If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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