D3 body, D1 cock
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
