I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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