Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.