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• (805): View more from California

  Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian

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• (904): View more from Florida

  She just used a chaser for red wine.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can

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• (408): View more from California

  You make shower sex sound like waterboarding

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Actually, she's fat now, so...

  (817): View more from Texas

  Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?

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• (214): View more from Texas

  This is my gift to your gina

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you

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