Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
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They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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