he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
