Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
