I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.