Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.