So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter