Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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