i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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