He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
