I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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