she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
