Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
