Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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