I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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