I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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