well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
