Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
