it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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