There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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