Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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