you guys were way drunker than both of me
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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