I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just found a bag of teeth...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's blow job season.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
