Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
