he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
pop tarts are not kleenex
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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