I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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