he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize