Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
