help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
