So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
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