I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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