Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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