He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
