im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
