I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
