Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
