i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
