Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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